


The Farm

by Pitt1982



Category: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden - Fandom, Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:36:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15736890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitt1982/pseuds/Pitt1982





	1. Chapter 1

It all seemed as if it had occurred in another lifetime…the memories…the fear…the love…THEIR love. Gazing over the open field, he saw it in the distance, the first time he felt what love was…what it could be. Never had it crossed his mind that he could fall…would fall in love. “Love is for fools. For people who believe in fairytale endings”, the words now filling him with shame. “I almost let him walk out…away from me…”, his eyes welling with tears at the thought of what he almost lost, what he almost denied himself. Aaron always hid himself away…from the world…from himself. “If this is what love is…what being loved feels like, I’m glad he didn’t give up on me”, a lonely tear streaking down his sunburnt cheek. 

Vivid as the day it happened, Aaron remembered the first time their eyes met…everything about that day etched in his memory. His clothes…his scent…his tone. “Never would I have thought HIM…never”, his first impression echoing through him. This place was always special to him…where he felt free. Free to be who he was…is. Aaron had struggled for so long…in quiet isolation but that all went by the wayside the day HE arrived. There was something about HIM, maybe it was how unafraid…how unashamed he was to be himself…to be free. Aaron had never allowed himself to feel anything but fear…panic…self-hatred. But that day…that first moment had changed everything.

“What a stupid thought…I don’t believe in THAT”…Aaron’s mind wandering for a split second. From the moment they met, he had found himself wondering, often if HE had been sent to him for some reason he had yet to realize. Never one to have believed in fate, Aaron could not stop the thought from playing over and over. He had never known feelings like this…never allowed himself to feel anything like this. Maybe it was fate…maybe it wasn’t. All he knew was that HE…ROBERT had awoken something in him he never thought he could have…could be. Walking along the fence, the sunset silhouetting him against the autumnal sky, Aaron felt at peace…as if he could now…finally…be himself.

Approaching the small, logging cabin he had come to think of as home these past weeks…months, he noticed a candle flickering against the walls. “I didn’t…who did”? Wondering if he had forgotten or if someone was inside, he cautiously made his way to the cabin door. Gripping the iron handle, he quietly pushed the door in…expecting to find someone…anyone. Met with only silence, Aaron decided he must have lit the candle before heading out and plain forgot. As he passed the table on which the candle was sitting something grabbed his attention…a piece of paper….a note? Deciding it must be nothing of importance he continued heading towards the bath…having chosen that a long, hot soak was just what he needed after a day of intense work. Sitting on he edge of the bed, he began to unravel himself from the layers of fabric that had so constricted his body during the hours in the sun. As the last piece of fabric fell to the floor, Aaron made his way to the bath, the hot water relaxing not only his muscles but his mind, allowing himself to drift away…nothing but the sound of silence surrounding him. 

“What...who…who’s there?’ The creaky floorboard tearing him from his silent slumber. “Hello? Someone there?” this time speaking in a tone he hoped would cause the stranger to answer. As the creaking floorboards approached, he tried desperately…in vain to pull himself up, fearing if he didn’t. Unable…perhaps unwilling to move until he stranger revealed themselves, he watched the turning of the knob to the bath door. As the stranger, slowly opened and stepped through Aaron looked for something, anything he might be able to defend himself with but to no avail. “Were you really going to find something in here to strike me with?’, looking up Aaron saw HIM…Robert. “What…what are you doing here? I thought I was on me own.” Didn’t you see the note….on the table with the candle?’ Robert asked in a tone that belied the answer he already knew. 

He hadn’t given the scrap of paper a second thought. “I thought it was nothing. Something insignificant”, Aaron’s tone stung Robert. Though there meeting had been brief, it stirred something in Aaron…something deep. “I just…I thought maybe we could spend the night together”, the words spoken so softly they almost passed Aaron by. “You…you want to spend the night with me?”. For years, Aaron had denied himself…denied himself love…affection…trust…everything he had wanted but refused to allow. Maybe it was fear…fear of allowing him to get close. Of allowing someone to see him at his most vulnerable. Yet, try as he did, there was something about Robert that he could not deny…those eyes. They spoke a message that told Aaron he was safe…he was okay, just as he was. “So…should I go. I mean, if you would rather be alone”, Robert’s words betraying his true feelings. “No…I…I want you to stay…if you want to.” As the words fell from Aaron’s lips, Robert felt his heart racing…his breath quicken. He wanted to be with Aaron…to feel him…to hold him…to have his heart beat with his own. Eyes locked upon one another, Aaron shifted in the bath, “I want you to stay…will you?”. As Robert settled into Aaron’s embrace…their bodies connecting as he always wanted, Aaron asked for one thing…and one thing only. “Promise me…whatever happens tonight, tomorrow…promise me you’ll be patient. With me…with us”…

Laying in their embrace…their hearts beating together…one…two…three…a smile crept across Aaron’s sunburnt cheeks. He had never thought this possible…LOVE…if that is what this was. Everything had changed the day Robert walked in. For the first time he could remember…maybe for the first time EVER, Aaron allowed someone to see him…the real him. The person who is broken…scared…unable or unwilling to love. He had asked Robert for patience…though there was more to his words than Robert knew. Maybe the time was right…maybe it wasn’t but Aaron knew he could not be with him if he could not be honest with himself. 

Feeling Robert’s warmth…the rise and fall of his chest, brought a peace to Aaron he never expected. Though this moment had brought him everything, he could not help but repeat the word that had crossed his lips when Robert walked in. “Patience…will he…would he…patience.” There was much that he needed to say, needed to tell him. Would he understand? Would it chase him away? Robert had always given him the time, the space he asked for…though it hurt him to be pushed away, he had a sense that Aaron needed his time. Though neither one of them could know it yet, this night would be the beginning of a journey that neither of them could have expected and could walk alone…

As the sun announced morning through the windows of the cabin, Robert awoke to find Aaron missing. He had promised Aaron he would be patient and yet Robert wondered if something had scared him…made him fearful of his intentions. “I promised him…I’ve never promised anything to anyone…”, the thought racing through his mind at a breakneck pace. Staggering from the bedroom, he looked around hoping that his imagination was getting the better of him. It was then he noticed it…a slip of paper on the table next to the candle. Thinking it was the note he had left for Aaron the evening before he was just about to toss it aside when he noticed the handwriting…it wasn’t his. “Robert…I…I’m sorry. There is so much I want to tell you…last night was something I never knew I wanted…I needed. But…I can’t”, the words tore through Robert like nothing he had ever felt. Whether anger…fear…or loss, he couldn’t tell, but one thing was clear to him in that moment. Whatever Aaron was afraid of, whatever he couldn’t do…couldn’t face, Robert was not going to give up…on him…on them. Wherever Aaron had gone, Robert would be close behind…

The words echoed through him as he made his way from the cabin…from HIM. He hated himself for what he had done…what he couldn’t say. He had asked Robert to be patient…and yet he was the one running. There was so much he needed to say…wanted to say and couldn’t…perhaps wouldn’t. As he traveled down the road, past the fence where he so vividly remembered it all began he stopped. “I…I can’t tell him…he wouldn’t believe me…it happened to me and I CAN’T HANDLE!” He had promised himself to never speak of it…it was easier that way, so he thought. Leaning on the worn beams, creaking and cracking beneath his weight, he felt it, what he was afraid Robert would see. As he put the sleeve of his shirt up to his cheek, wiping the tear away he wondered if he was running for the right reason. Staring out at the horizon, the sun slowly rising he felt something…a presence watching him. Turning slowly to see if his intuition was right he was confronted with the last person he hoped to see that morning. “If you are going to run…at least give me a reason...”

“How…how did you know I was here?”, Aaron fumbled for the words. “You think this place only means something to one of us”, Robert’s tone mixing anger and compassion. Though he did not know, Robert had often come here as well…looking out over the same field where his life changed in an instant. “I promised you…I would be patient. And then this…”, holding up the slip of paper. “I think I deserve more…if you want to run…fine…but give me a reason.” There was so much Aaron wanted to…needed to say but couldn’t…wouldn’t. Turning back to the sun…to the field, Aaron began to drift slowly from him…moving down the fence hoping to escape this moment. “No…you don’t get to decide. You don’t get to run…from me…from yourself. You asked me to be patient and I told you I would be.”


	2. The Reason...

There was something about him…something Aaron couldn’t escape. Maybe it was his persistence…maybe his willingness to do as he asked…but something kept him close. “Is this about last night?”, Robert wondered aloud. There was so much he wanted to tell him, but at that moment all Aaron could muster was a soft “Yeah…” Being next to Robert felt good…felt right and yet he had resisted his own temptation the night before. Though they laid in bed together…he wouldn’t, couldn’t let himself be open to more. “Aaron…I told you I would be patient. Nothing happened last night…and there is nothing wrong with that…I can be patient. For you, as long as it takes.” He wanted him more than he could ever express but he wasn’t ready…if he was going to be truly with him, he needed to be honest…with everything. “I want you…more than I can stand. More than I have ever wanted to be with anyone but I just need some time.” As the words fell from his lips, he wondered if he had just set Robert down the road…away from him…forever. What happened next caught him completely by surprise. Moving closer to the fence, Robert gently put his arm around Aaron’s waist, pulling him in close. “When you’re ready….I will be…”

As dusk slowly settled around him, Aaron made his way home…as he had come to think of the cabin. Exhausted from a day’s work, he couldn’t escape what had happened earlier…the fence…Robert. He half expected to see him when he returned but nothing…just the wind rustling through the leaves outside. Making his way to the bedroom, he took a moment to breathe…nothing about the day had gone the way he thought. “It means something to him? This place…?” Overwhelmed by the day, he kicked off his shoes…unbuttoned his shirt and fell back onto the soft sheets. How long he laid there, he couldn’t say but when he woke dusk had turned to dark. Making his way from the bedroom he lit the few candles left on the table and settled down for a quiet evening. Shutting his eyes, he had just fallen into a slight slumber when a knock broke the silence. Lifting himself up he made his way to the front of the cabin and opened the door…”Robert…what are you doing here?”

“I…I wanted to come check on ya…about earlier”, his awkward body language caught Aaron off guard. He was looking down...as if a different person was standing in front of him. Earlier that day at the fence when Robert pulled him close, Aaron resisted…straining to keep himself from being pulled completely into Robert’s embrace. “Yeah…I’m good. Is that why you’re here…to check on me?” As the cool wind whipped through the leaves picking them up in a torrent of dark shadows, Aaron invited Robert in…what would become of this night no one could guess…

“So…you’re here to check on me…that it?” Aaron’s tone flashing with a sense of annoyance. He had asked Robert for patience, yet now he was feeling pressure…to talk…to explain. “Yeah…I wanted to see if you were alright. You seemed a bit off earlier.” He couldn’t deny what Robert had picked up on but he wasn’t ready…he wasn’t comfortable. From the day they met, Aaron knew this moment was coming. At the time he did not understand what it was about Robert but he knew what he felt…he knew these feelings had not existed with anyone else. Aaron had “been” with men before Robert…some of whom he looked back on with regret. But he had always managed to slip out of those “relationships” without having to speak…much. This time was different…Robert was different. Their previous night together…was comforting…was much what he had pictured it to be minus one small, maybe not so small important step. They hadn’t slept together. Yes, they were in bed next to one another…felt each other’s warmth…breathed in each other’s scent but the night ended as it had begun….separate yet together. “Aaron…if I did anything wrong…I am sorry…truly. I just want to be near ya.” He had tried to prepare for this moment…tried to rehearse how he would explain himself, his actions to Robert and yet his mind was blank…no answer…no words…nothing. “It’s…it’s not you. It’s me. I’m scared how much I want you. Scared what it will feel like to be with you.” Trying to process the words he was now hearing, Robert suddenly found himself asking “Aaron…will I be the first guy…?” 

In that moment, all Aaron could muster was a slight…very slight head shake. “I…I didn’t know”, Robert stammering as he spoke. “I would never force you Aaron…if you want, I can go.” Aaron didn’t want him to go…every fiber of his being wanted him to stay…to be the one…his first. “I don’t want you to go…I want you Robert...if you still want me.” “Of course I do. I told you I would be patient…we don’t have to do anything…I just want to be near you.” Aaron had often imagined what it would feel like…to be with Robert…his warmth. Standing there…eyes locked on one another, Aaron moved towards Robert taking his hand…walking towards the bedroom. As the door silently closed behind them, they sat on the edge of the bed eyes locked into one another. “Just promise me we’ll take it slow.” The smile on Robert’s face told him everything…they would take it slow…he would be patient as he promised.

Aaron’s heart was beating fast…drowning out everything around him. He felt Robert’s soft touch as he unbuttoned his shirt, slowly sliding his hands inside pushing it back on to the bed. His touch was warm against Aaron’s skin. Leaning in, he guided his hands up towards his sunburnt cheeks, placing Aaron’s face in between them. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything”, Aaron barely heard the words falling from his lips as he allowed himself to feel Robert…truly for the first time. As his scent filled Aaron, he leaned in...their foreheads connecting, “I trust you…I’m not afraid…just take it slow.” Allowing himself to feel happiness…comfort…pleasure, Aaron met Robert’s lips in a soft, gentle embrace. “Are you okay?”, Robert asked. The pleasure he saw in Aaron’s eyes let him know that he was more than okay…he felt safe. As their lips connected again, they fell back onto the bed, Robert’s weight and warmth pressing against Aaron’s bare chest. Running his hands under Robert’s shirt, he lifted it over his head, revealing the sunburnt body from days of working in the fields. Allowing himself to feel happiness…pleasure….Aaron closed his eyes feeling Robert’s lips as he made his way down his neck…then his chest…

The sensation was something Aaron had longed for…long imagined. Feeling Robert…his weight…his warmth…breathing him in with every breath brought him a pleasure he hadn’t known. As Aaron re-focused his gaze, he saw Robert’s head on his chest. Reaching down he gently brushed the hair away from his eyes. “Something wrong Aaron?” For the first time in his life, he could answer honestly…without hesitation. “Nothing…nothing is wrong.” As a faint smile crossed his lips, Robert made his way up Aaron’s chest and neck, kissing as he went. As Robert made his way up to Aaron’s lips…their eyes locking in this singular moment, he couldn’t help but smile just the same. “Robert…there is something that has been on my mind.” Was there a right way to bring this up? Should I even try? The thoughts ran though his mind at a breakneck pace. “Aaron…you can ask me anything.” “I…I’ve been thinking a lot about us together…thinking about this moment. I don’t really know how to say this.” Aaron’s nerves were beginning to get the better of him. “I know Aaron…I’ve been thinking it too. We can go as slow as you feel…as you want…or we don’t have to at all”, Robert’s tone reassuring Aaron that he was in control. 

“I’m sure…just take it slow.” Robert slowly slid his hands down Aaron’s chest…down to his waist...their lips locked in a soft embrace. As they lost themselves in each other’s touch, Robert slowly lifted the belt buckle from Aaron’s mud stained jeans. As he slid the belt through each loop, he kept his eyes locked on him…watching for any sign that Aaron was uncomfortable…instead he saw joy…pleasure…contentment. With the last loop, he moved his hands gently down to Aaron’s hips, letting the jeans fall away. Exploring Aaron’s body with his hands, he gently caressed his bare stomach…his thighs…his legs. Each touch sending a small ripple through Aaron. He wanted Aaron to understand this wasn’t just physical for him…this was love…this was what it felt like to allow yourself to be completely intimate with someone. “Are you okay?” the look of contentment on his face let Robert know this was exactly what he wanted…what he had longed for. As Robert again moved his hands up towards his bare stomach, Aaron took a moment of charge. Much as Robert had done, he removed Robert’s belt…each loop…one at a time, allowing his tattered jeans to fall away. “I want you…I want to feel you”, the hush tone of Aaron’s nearly missing Robert. “Are you sure? I promise we will go slow…if you are sure you want to.” As a smile slowly made its way across his face, Robert knew he was okay…


	3. The First Time

Staring into his eyes…seeing the pleasure and the contentment, Robert gently moved his hands down to Aaron’s waist, removing the last article of clothing separating him from the sunburnt body that was becoming his. As the fabric fell away, Aaron buckled under his touch. Taking in all that faced him, a smile crossed Robert’s lips. If this was all the night was meant to be, it was enough…that Aaron was allowing him to see him…all of him. Slowly…gently lowering his body to Aaron’s…Robert removed the last piece of fabric which separated them. As the fabric fell silently to the floor, Robert gently pressed his body to Aaron…his lips caressing his forehead…his cheek…his neck. Feeling Robert’s warmth…his touch made Aaron shiver. As his lips explored Aaron’s body…taking in his scent…his taste, he reached out for him…their hands weaving as one in a tight, locking embrace. The sensation of Robert exploring his sunburnt body…feeling his lips, cool against his skin made Aaron quiver…a soft moan escaping his lips as he closed his eyes.

Any fear of discomfort had all but vanished…his body couldn’t…wouldn’t lie. He felt the trace of Robert’s lips as they passed down his neck…his chest…his abdomen. With each passing trace, their locking embrace tightened…as if neither of them wanted to let go…to give up what they had both so patiently longed for. Taking in every pulse…every twitch of his body made Robert happy beyond measure. Slowly releasing his grip, he gently…softly caressed Aaron’s face…his chest…his fingers tracing where he’d been. Robert wanted him…closer…he wanted to feel everything Aaron was feeling. Traveling from his abdomen, Robert brushed his hand against Aaron’s thigh…gently caressing…wanting to make sure he enjoyed every touch…every bristle against his skin. The look of pure joy…pure ecstasy told him everything he needed. Though he loved feeling Robert’s touch…his caress…his body against his own there was something more Aaron wanted…something he now felt safe telling Robert…

Gazing down at Robert, Aaron gingerly cupped his cheek. The feeling of his body…his warmth made him bristle…made him weak and yet he wanted more…more of him. “I want to feel you…closer.” The look on Robert’s face was one of confusion. “I’m here…with you. How much closer could we…”, his thought stopping mid-sentence. With the realization setting in of what he was asking, Robert stammered. “Aaron…I…I would never pressure you. This isn’t what I waited for…”. The thought had often crossed his mind…what it would feel like…to feel Aaron, but he wanted him to understand this meant more. For the first time in a long time, Robert felt love…love for someone he never knew would cross his path…for him this wasn’t sex…it was more intimate. This was LOVE. “Are…are you sure”, the trepidation caught Aaron by surprise. “Yeah…I’m sure. Just go slow.” 

The sensation was of pleasure…but also pain, as the rhythm of Robert’s hips moved in time with his own. “Does it always hurt?” “Yeah…at first it often does. We can stop…we don’t have to do this”, his tone was calm and comforting. “No…I just…I wasn’t prepared to feel pain.” Aaron had often wondered what it would feel like…to feel someone…Robert inside of him. Would it hurt? Would I feel the same way if and when it happened? Though he wasn’t prepared for the pain he felt, there was something about Robert that told him he wasn’t in any danger…that he would be taken care of. “You sure you’re okay?” Robert needed no more assurance than to look at the smile that crossed Aaron’s lips, “Yeah…I’m okay.” As their hips continued moving together in rhythm, Aaron allowed himself to relax, and as he did, the pain subsided…


End file.
